THE "CONTROL CHECKLIST"

Abuse involves the misuse of power. The following are different ways a person may use their power to try to intimidate or control you.

ISOLATION AND RESTRICTION	Tells you that you can not do something   Jealous about who you see Monitors your time, makes you account for where you were Does not allow you to leave the house   Makes it difficult for you to get a job   Restricts your use of the car   Tries to prevent you from contacting your family Alienates you from family and friends   Turns children against you   Keeps you from getting medical care Withholds affection to punish you   Tries to turn people against you
PRIVILEGE	Demands obedience like you were a servant Makes decisions without your input   Treats you like you were inferior   Tells you you can't cope Treats you like a child
ECONOMIC ABUSE	Makes you account for all the money spent Keeps you short of money Makes you ask for basic necessities   Undermines your attempts to improve your education Undermines your attempts to get or keep a job Controls the money Makes you ask for money Refuses to give you money   Makes major decisions about money without consulting you Spends money only on things he/she wants
SEXUAL ABUSE	Withholds sex to punish you   Pressures you to have sex Forces you to have sex against your will Pressures or forces you into unwanted sex acts Treats you like a sex object   Inflicts pain on you during sex
PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE	Threatens to: Turn people against you Leave the relationship   See someone else Take children away from you Leave you short of money   Come after you if you leave   Have you committed to an institution   Hurt or kill you and/or the children Hurt or kill himself/herself   Blames you for his/her problems   Drives your car in a frightening way Have someone else kill you, your family, friends, etc.
INTIMIDATION	By: Sudden mood changes Giving silent treatment Demonstrating anger Shouting or yelling Pounding fist on table   Hitting the wall Throwing or kicking something Stomping out of room/house
PHYSICAL ABUSE	Throws something at you Pushes, grabs or shoves you Pulls your hair Twists your arm   Pins you to wall floor, bed Chokes you   Kicks, hits or punches you   Hits, or tries to hit you with something Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon Tries to run you down with car   Physically and/or sexually abuses children Harms or kills pets   Deliberately deprives you of sleep
EMOTIONAL ABUSE	Says things to spite or insult you in front of others Puts down your physical appearance Makes out you are stupid Criticizes your care of children/home Calls you names and swears at you Tells you you are crazy/irrational Accuses you of having an affair Ridicules family or friends Does not show concern for children's needs or concerns Gets angry when children cry or make demands   Goes through personal things ie. purse, drawers, pockets Frightens children's friends so they stop coming over

This is abuse.
ABUSE IS A CRIME.
IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO LIVE FREE FROM FEAR AND ABUSE.
Call us. A staff person will listen to you about your situation, and will help you identify your choices so you can decide what "next steps" are best for you.